Google completes "how to make friends in los angeles" with "as an adult", "hard to make friends in los angeles", "apps to make friends" and, of course, "reddit". The threads all say the same thing in different words, and it is true: this is one of the hardest big cities in America to make friends in, for reasons that have nothing to do with the people.
Why it is hard here, specifically#
Distance. A friend who lives 40 minutes away on the 405 is a friend you see twice a year. Cars. Nobody runs into anybody; you drive from a garage to a parking lot and back. Flakiness. It is real and it is structural: when every plan costs an hour of driving, plans die. No centre. New York has the subway and the sidewalk; LA has a hundred neighbourhoods that do not touch. The result is that people here have friends from college, from work, and from the gym, and almost nobody from "the city".
The one rule for Los Angeles#
Build your life within 15 minutes of home. Pick the rooms you will return to every week, and pick them close: a run club, a climbing gym, a yoga studio, a volunteering shift, a rec league, beach volleyball if you are west of the 405, a class. Friendship is repetition, and in LA repetition only survives if it is close. Then be the one who names a time and a place; a plan without a time is an LA plan, which is to say not a plan.
The rooms#
- Run clubs: every neighbourhood has one, free, weekly, with a coffee or a beer after; the single most recommended answer by people who have done it.
- Climbing gyms: the city's unofficial friend factory, especially for men.
- Beach volleyball at Santa Monica, Venice, Manhattan Beach, Hermosa: open courts, pickup games, regulars.
- Classes: improv (UCB, Groundlings), dance, pottery, a language; weekly, same faces.
- Rec leagues: softball, soccer, kickball; an eight-week season with the same team.
- Volunteering: beach cleanups, food banks, trail days; a weekly shift next to the same people.
- Hiking groups: Saturday mornings in Griffith Park or the Santa Monicas, with a group, not alone.
- Your industry's rooms: film and TV, music and tech have their own screenings, mixers and showcases, and they are a network, not a social life; keep one foot outside them.
Your 20s and 30s#
Your 20s: say yes to everything for six months, live with roommates near the rooms you picked, and expect the industry people to be busy and the non-industry people to be glad you exist. Your 30s: activity-based groups beat bars; most people have partners and dogs by now, so the dog park, the run club and the kids' soccer sideline are where it happens. New in town: see moving to LA alone.
The apps#
Friendship apps and dinner-with-strangers apps run in LA and work slowly: weeks of chat per meeting and many that never happen, because of the drive. Use them for the first coffee and move it to a weekly room near you.
The shortcut: an Angeleno, by the hour#
On Roavi you can hire a Local Friend: someone who lives in Los Angeles and spends a few hours with you at an hourly rate they set (most list $15 to $50; LA is near the top), platonic and in public, and in this city usually with a car. Not a tour. You ask the things you cannot Google: which neighbourhood you should have picked, where people your age actually go on a Thursday, which run club or climbing gym is friendly to newcomers, how to do the Westside without losing a day on the 10, and they take you. Roavi lists three Local Friends in Los Angeles today; messaging is free. Rent a friend in Los Angeles has the costs and the honest caveats.
One afternoon with someone who lives here and drives.
Meet local guides in Los AngelesRead next: how to meet people in Los Angeles, things to do in LA alone, LA without a car.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it so hard to make friends in Los Angeles?
Distance and cars. A friend 40 minutes away on the 405 is a friend you see twice a year, plans die to traffic, and the city has no centre where people run into each other. The fix is geographic: build your social life within 15 minutes of where you live, in rooms you return to every week.How do you make friends in LA as an adult?
Pick recurring activities near home and show up weekly: a run club, a climbing gym, beach volleyball, a class, a volunteering shift, a rec league. Say yes to second invitations and be the one who proposes a specific time and place; LA plans only happen when someone names a time. Apps work slowly.Are there apps to make friends in Los Angeles?
Yes: friendship apps and dinner-with-strangers apps (Timeleft and others) run in LA, and they work slowly, with weeks of chat per meeting. Use them for the first coffee and move it to a weekly activity. A Local Friend on Roavi is the faster version: one afternoon with an Angeleno who shows you the rooms.